What If?

The weeks leading up to the start of school are pretty busy around here. There are supplies to buy, school open houses to attend, haircuts to get, and new clothes to buy. For me it also means time for my yearly well woman check up.

You know the one that we girls always look forward to.

After my appointment as I was leaving the doctor's office the receptionist told me that if everything came back alright I would get an automated call with the test results but if there was a problem they would call me from the office. Yesterday I glanced at my seldom used cell phone and I had a voice mail from the doctors office asking me to please call them about my tests. Immediately I knew that something was not right but of course by the time I got the message the office was already closed.

The rational person in me kept saying that these things are common and often nothing to worry about but the irrational worrisome person in me kept making my thoughts turn to the "what-ifs".

The next fifteen hours were spent dwelling on the "what-ifs" When I called the doctor first thing the next morning I was told that while the results were abnormal they didn't feel that it was due to anything major and for me to come back in for a recheck in six months. Suddenly the "what-ifs" evaporated and I was able to breathe a sigh of relief. Then I thought about all of the women that get that same call but with different results and instead of being able to be thankful and relax, the "what-ifs" become their reality. I found myself saying a prayer for those unknown women who are suddenly dealing with that unwanted news.

For the next six months I will be able to go about my everyday life and not have to give those test results a second thought. Some women are not that fortunate. For them those test results have changed their lives forever. I will never meet them face to face, but I will keep them in my prayers with the understanding that one day I may be confronting those "what-ifs".

School Days

I remember that August of 1992. She was starting Kindergarten and although it is an inevitable right of passage that she had to take that didn't make it any easier for her mommy who now had to share her with the world. I couldn't even go outside to watch her get on that bus. A friend had to take pictures for me while I watched through a window sobbing as she drove away. Everyone told me that she would be fine, and of course she was but sending her out into the big bad world that day was the hardest thing I had ever done.

In August of 1999 she was starting seventh grade. That age is hard for anyone but add to that the fact that we had moved that summer and she was starting a brand new school and suffice to say we were all stressed about school starting. This time I was able to watch her drive off but tears of worry came when I was safely hidden in my home. Deep down I knew it would all be alright but it was a long anxious day as I waited for her to come home so I could hear all about it.

This past Friday I went to visit her after her busy week of teacher orientation, room set up and lesson planning. This time it was her turn to cry from frustration, information overload, and anticipation. Again I know deep down inside it will be alright. But I have a feeling tomorrow will be an anxious day as I wait to hear all about it.

There might even be a few tears shed.

Savannah you will do a great job!

Just Call Me Cleopatra Queen of Denial

A couple of weeks ago Savannah was visiting and she logged on to show us the cute little e-card that Greg had sent her. Oh Newlyweds! It was cute and had a silly song that all of us are still walking around the house singing. Anyway a couple of days later I opened my e-mail and found that my husband had sent me something as well! How sweet! It was entitled Info for you.. hmmm could it be a " Just wanted to tell you I love you" or "You are the best wife in the world". Nope. It was a link to an article that was entitled "Peri menopause - The Beginning Of Hormone Change"

Sorry ladies, this Mr. Romance is all mine!

So what if I recently brought another fan into our room because I can't seem to get cool at night. Big deal if I only have a couple of pairs of pants left in my closet that I don't have to unbutton to sit down comfortably. I don't have mood swings, it is just that everyone else acts in irritating ways. None of these could possibly point to me being Peri-menopausal.

But I read the article anyway. Not because I think it applies to me, but because I have some friends that are older than I am and I want to be supportive when they go through these changes.


It was actually quite informative and I decided to get a few books on the subject for when that time comes. So I spent a good portion of last week reading up on bio identical hormones and supplements and such. The irony was that I consumed half a bag of Hershey's Kisses while doing so. Strange how not one of those book talked about the healing powers of Hershey's Kisses for Pre- Pre -Pre -Peri-menopausal women!

Oh I know my husband loves me and is just looking out for my health ( and his well being) so I didn't get upset about the very unromantic e-mail. But just remember honey Peri-menopause is just a preview of the real thing! You might want to look into a hobby that takes you out of the house a lot, and while your at it buy a few shares of stock in Hershey. I have a feeling their profits are going to go up.

Birthdays Past and Future

I had a birthday this weekend. It made me think of my past birthdays. Of course I don't remember all of them, but some I do remember. A few I can't figure out why I remember them because they weren't really that monumental but I guess they just made an impression on me. Come take a walk down memory lane with me.....

In 1975 I turned ten years old. I got three albums that year! I no longer had to use my siblings albums when they weren't looking because now I had my own. I remember I got Toys In The Attic by Aerosmith, Welcome To My Nightmare by Alice Cooper, and Venus and Mars by Wings. I was ten years old people! What were my parents thinking????? Alice Cooper, Aerosmith, ten years old!!!! Maybe that is why that birthday sticks out in my mind because even then I knew I wasn't supposed to be listening to that stuff....

In 1981 I turned sixteen. I was still basking in the glow of watching Diana Spencer marry her real live Prince and become a princess a few days earlier. All was right in the world - fairy tales do come true and I was getting my drivers license!

When I turned twenty I was planning my wedding that was going to take place one month later. I don't remember how I spent that birthday except that I'm sure I did something wedding related.

My thirtieth birthday was spent lying in a hospital bed crying my eyes out all day long. I suppose it had a little to do with turning thirty and a lot to do with the fact I had had my third child the day before and I was very hormonally imbalanced.

My fortieth birthday celebration lasted a couple of days and involved beautiful beaches, dolphins and spending a couple of nights in George Bush's bed. Just writing that makes me laugh because it sounds so decadent. For the record, nobody even remotely related to the Bush family was in the bed while I was in it. So National Enquirer reporters stay away.

Sometime after my fortieth birthday I realized that I had probably celebrated more birthdays than I will celebrate in the future. Not exactly a happy thought, but it put things in perspective. Now instead of expecting elaborate gifts or parties, just time spent with friends and family is the perfect way to celebrate the beginning of a new year in my life. That's why my forty-fourth birthday was great. Family, good food, good friends... what more could a girl want?

So here's a little nugget of wisdom for future generations to take away from this:

Whether your birthday is spent in a hospital bed or a presidents bed, if your family and friends are with you it's all good.

I hope Hallmark gives me credit when they use that quote in a birthday card!

A Letter To My Son On His Birthday

My son does not read my blog, nor has he ever expressed an interest in reading it, so I know he will not see this on his birthday. I hope that one day in the distant future he will read it and appreciate it.

Dear Trey,

Has it really been fourteen years since you came into our lives?


I'll save you the details of the long and painful labor and delivery that brought you into this world ( but you will hear them one day.. count on that) and just tell you how very blessed we have been since the day God gave you to us.

At the age of fourteen you are on the cusp between boyhood and becoming a man. I can hear it in the way your voice is changing and I can see it in the way that suddenly you are taller than me. Right now it is so important to you to fit in and be accepted by your peers. The part of you that is becoming a young man tries so hard to play it cool. No longer is it acceptable to hug your mom and tell her that you love her - that's okay, she knows. Girls have become interesting to you, and I no longer have to remind you to take care of your personal hygiene. I wondered if that day would ever come! But sometimes that part of you that is still clinging to boyhood comes out and I welcome it because I know it is just a matter of time before that little boy is all but gone.

I don't know what the future holds for you, but I know who holds your future and I pray daily that you will know that too. In your lifetime you will be faced with both joy and challenges. There will be times when you feel that life can't possibly get better and all is right in the world, and there are going to be times when you will be faced with things that will have you doubting yourself, humanity, and your faith. All I can tell you to prepare you for those times is to persevere. When you doubt yourself, know that there are people in this world that see your infinite potential and that wholeheartedly believe in you. When you doubt humanity remember that we can't control other people but we can control how we react to them and that in the end good will always triumph over evil. And when you doubt your faith just know that even when we don't feel him, God is always with us. He loves you too much to leave you and even though there are things in this life that we will never understand this side of heaven, all things work together for our good.

So as you start your fourteenth year on this earth I hope it will be filled with great memories and few trials. But most importantly, remember that your family loves you no matter what and we will always be here for you.

Happy Birthday Trey!

Grading on a Curve is Good

God bless my African professor who speaks minimal English and grades on a generous curve!

I passed my test.

One down two to go.

Then I will never have to think about Geology again. Unless I happen to be gem shopping. Which would be a good thing.

Adventures of a College Coed

Just in case you are interested, the Geology test that I was so worried about was infinitely harder than I even imagined!!!! No grade yet but I'm not very optimistic about it.

After he gave us the written part he sent the class out of the room so he could set up the lab portion of the test. I felt better after commiserating with the rest of the class in the hall because apparently the test was difficult for everyone. Even my sweet little lab partner whose brain cells are half the age of mine.

My poor lab partner. I'm sure when she signed up for this class she envisioned having a cute, young, male, student to help her classify rocks and minerals. Instead she got me. She did however invite me to her really cool twenty first birthday party. There was going to be a keg and everything!!! I told her how fun it would be because I could exchange recipes with her mother. I swear to you when I said that to her she looked at me like I had just shot a booger at her or something. She said in a very repulsed tone "How old ARE you?????"

I thought about lying..... but it was too late.

I told her I was about to be forty-four and reminded her that forty is the new thirty. She said "Wow I would have guessed thirty-five"

OMG! I truly considered giving her a big kiss for saying that. But I figured that would get me uninvited from the really cool keg party.

Okay, Okay, big deal she guessed my age slightly younger than it actually is. If you are under the age of forty that probably means nothing to you, but at this season of my life I will take a compliment where ever I can get one. Besides I'm sure she really meant it and she wasn't just saying it to suck up to me because I'm the one who copies the notes off of the board while she plays with her I-Phone.

Unfortunately the really cool keg party starts right about the time that I'm already in bed watching the news so that means I won't be able to make it.

That's really too bad because I could use some new recipes.